Memes of MCHS

By Sophia Jaquez

With next year’s class enrollment forms turned in and graduation quickly approaching, I know I’m not alone when I say that high school feels like it’s really flying by. With that in mind I decided to make some memes from scratch that are sure to make any Mustang smile. Enjoy!

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MCHS Meme _Expanding Brain_

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This last meme is actually a cryptic message that only bonafide Mustangs can understand.

I hope you liked these memes (feel free to share this article with your friends!), and I hope that they made you realize how much you enjoy the time you spend at our perfectly imperfect school.

(P.S. If you couldn’t decipher the last picture, it says “Let us go to Sonic after the football game”)

Lazy Ways to Get Good Grades

By Sophia Jaquez

Hey there, how’s it going? I’m only asking because I know if you clicked on this article then you’re probably super stressed about school and homework and tests and pretty much everything right now. So stressed that you decided to procrastinate by getting on the internet, and now you’re going to rely on a stranger’s advice on how to fix your problems.

Lucky for you, this stranger actually has tips and tricks that are proven to work to keep your grades up. Don’t believe my tips will work? Well, I’m not going to argue with you, but let’s just say that I have received more perfect report cards than the Simpsons has seasons.

You better believe it, sweetie!

1. Set a goal for YOUR dream grades.

The first step to doing anything is always figuring out exactly what you want to do. Do you want to end the semester with all A’s? Will you be excited for a mix of A’s and B’s? Or is your heart telling you that C’s get degrees? When it comes to school, anything that YOU want YOU can achieve. Another side to this is that you don’t necessarily have to get the perfect grades your parents want because at the end of the day they are (probably) still going to love you whether you’re acing Trig or not.

Because we’re all just a little dumb.

2. Become friends with your teachers.

For many students, being friends with a teacher sounds impossible because they probably teach a subject that you might dislike. Trust me, this is one of the easiest ways to not only help your grades, but also to make your general school experience better. I’m not saying that you need to become besties with your teacher, but at least don’t act like they’re your enemy. Believe it or not, teachers are people too, and they’re more likely to round your grade up or give you extra time on assignments if you do any of the following:

  • Smile at them when you see them outside of the classroom.
  • Laugh at their jokes in class (even when they aren’t funny).
  • Staying off of your phone in their class (maybe if you tried this earlier in the semester you wouldn’t have to be reading this for help, just sayin’).
  • Be engaged in any/all class discussion even if you have no idea what they’re talking about.
None of the things I listed require much effort or brains, which proves how easy and simple friendship is 🙂

3. Don’t tell your parents everything about school.

(This tip sounds worse than it really is, so just trust me and keep reading.)

You probably still live at home, so talking to your parents about school is inevitable. But, what you tell them is totally in your control. Obviously I’m not telling you to lie to them, especially if you actually need help with something school related. All I’m telling you is to steer the conversation in a way that helps you. For instance, if you know you just failed a test in English but also know that you have some missing assignments to turn in that will boost your grade, then when your mom asks “How was the test?”, just tell her that you think you did well enough to pass the class.

This tip is works because you aren’t technically the truth because you know you failed the test, but you’re also not technically lying because you’re still going to pass the class. By doing this you not only save yourself from getting yelled at, but it also keeps your parents from stressing about you. I think we can all agree that our parents deserve a little less stress in their lives.

Mom, if you’re reading this just know that I do it because I love you.

4. Grab all the bonus points available.

This should go without saying, but if a teacher offers bonus points you should always try and get them. Your teacher offering bonus points is equivalent to the bank handing out free money. I know a lot of the time we don’t really feel like solving an extra math problem or writing a poem for extra credit, but even if you do a bad job at the bonus point assignment, your teacher still might accept it and give you points. You’ll never get any bonus points if you never try for them.

Also don’t be afraid to get creative with your bonus point assignments. It won’t count against you if you get it wrong, so you can do pretty much anything you want. For instance, don’t know how to do the bonus question on your math test? Instead, just draw a picture and if the odds are in your favor, then you might still get points.

Proof from my math test that this tactic works!

5. GO TO SCHOOL!

The last tip I have for you is also the EASIEST way to achieve good grades in high school. Just show up to school. This is because of those beautiful things called participation points. I know everyone is aware of how awesome participation points are, and if you’ve ever missed school, then you also know how hard it is to make those points up, especially in extra curricular activities that don’t involve a lot of worksheets and papers.

There are two main reasons for students to be failing multiple classes and to help explain them I made this handy dandy flowchart:

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Now that you have successfully procrastinated your time by reading these tips, turn off whatever device you’re reading this on and get to work!

Ugly Sweater Winner

By Maya Dally

After much deliberating and several very ugly sweaters, Amber Kailbourn has finally chosen this year’s Cheermeister.

The sacred award goes to Kasie Skaggs and Connor Todd with their tinsel-infested matching sweaters.

Connor Todd and Kasie Skaggs

Many teachers dressed up, hoping to win their own competition. For Mr. Shaddox, that dream finally came true. According to his closest friends, this is actually the first award Mr. Shaddox has ever won in his life.

Mr. Shaddox, finally a winner!

Thank you all for participating, and congrats to our winners!

10 School Puns That Are Sure To Make You Giggle

By Cylee Drake

If I could please have your pun-divided attention. The following contains sensitive content, please do not cry of laughter. This article holds the key to unlock every awkward social interaction you will ever come across. Please proceed carefully.

#10

In elementary school, I once witnessed a kid get in trouble for coloring outside the lines. I gave him my shoulder to crayon.

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Source: stephwilburn.wordpress.com

#9

I turned in my anatomy homework with nothing on it. I was hoping the teacher would find it humerus.

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Source: teachmeanatomy.info

#8

I heard that the calculus teacher tried to keep his students on task, but the class discussion kept going off on tangents.

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Source: en.wikipedia.org

#7

A student in my last class threw a clock out of the window because he said he wished time would fly.

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Source: explainthejoke.com

#6

A general rule of grammar is that double negatives are a no-no.

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Source: cvdlipids.com

#5

I type all of my work because my teacher once told me using a dull pencil would be pointless.

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Source: myteachertales

#4

I am seriously considering taking a skeleton to prom because he would have no body to go with.

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Source: alacartespirit.com

#3

My chemistry teacher was really struggling with the curriculum she was teaching. She told us she felt out of her element.

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Source: openclipart.org

#2

Apparently my history teacher General Lee doesn’t like Civil War puns.

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Source: thefamouspeople.com

#1

So I asked my math teacher what their favorite pi was, but their answer was never ending.

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Source: illinoisscience.org

Top 5 Worst Santa Pictures

By Amberly Dumond, Sierra Sayers, & Reagan DeSpain

In light of the new season we wanted to start it off right with these interesting photos of Santa Claus.

“Here comes Santa Claus, here come Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus Lane. He’s got a bag that’s filled with toys for boys and girls again. Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle, oh what a beautiful sight. So jump in bed and cover your head, ’cause Santa Claus comes tonight.”

#1: The “I Love My Job” 

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Don’t you see how happy they are?

#2: Rudolph or Santa?

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Are you driving the sleigh or leading it?

#3: The Zodiac Santa 

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If you look closely, you can clearly see he’s a scorpio.

#4: Double Trouble

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You can see the fear in his eyes.

#5: Is Santa Okay? 

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Why is the baby having such a good time?

Just remember he sees you when your sleeping, he knows when your awake,  he knows if you’ve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake. These are the Santas you will encounter if you’re on the naughty list.

(Old) School Pictures

By Allie Jackson

You might have noticed the posters in the hall for the picture day on October 2. I have learned to take extra precaution on these days because too many times I have seen, heard of, or have experienced first hand how traumatic picture day can be. Even if you remember and come to school in what you think is your best, 20 years from now you will look back and cringe at your 15-year-old self’s choice of, well, everything. The truth of the matter is that times change, and hopefully you do to.

 

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Jimmy Fallon not at his finest.

I thought it best if I showed you just how much time can change by doing a little before and after of some of Hollywood’s biggest stars. These pictures are able to give us a snap shot of some these stars least forgiving times and for that we should be grateful.

John Legend

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John Legend is looking great for being 39. His younger self clearly mirrors his present day self.

Taylor Swift

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According to my brother, the first picture of Swift is disappointing, in the second one though, she’s fine. 

Chris Pratt

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Wowzers. I guess it just goes to show that you should be nice to all boys because you never know when a serious glow-up may hit.

Selena Gomez

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So here we have Selena in like what, junior high and then we have her in like um… junior high? She seriously has not aged a bit.

Zac Efron

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I’ve seen worse. Oh, who am I kidding. This Is The Worst. Does this change my love for him? Not in the least bit.

Sandra Bullock

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Ok, I swore this was a dude.

Adele

Hello from the paaaaaaaaaasstt!

Donald Trump

Bonus Pictures!

Mrs. Grab

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Mrs . Grab sent me this picture of her and her husband. They graduated six years apart and she said they somehow ended up wearing the same shirt!

Mrs. Pullen

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Mrs. Pullen is the one on the left. This was her cheer leading picture when she was a sophomore in high school.

Thanks for reading! Let me know which old, school picture is your favorite in the comments.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How To Start A Successful Cult

(warning: this article is satire)

By Michael Mann

Step 1: Find something you are obsessed with.

The first and most obvious step is find something you really really love, love so much you can say you’re obsessed with it. It can be many different things a toy, a game, or even a T.V. Show.

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Source: Huffington Post

Step 2: Find other people to join your group.

What’s a cult with just one person? I suggest gathering around at least 10 people to really make your cult strive.

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This is a good amount of people to have. Also, notice how the pale green squid in the far left has hearts for eyes. Source: Buzzfeed

Step 3: Make matching outfits.

How are you supposed to know who is a worshiper and who isn’t if you don’t all wear the same outfit? I suggest making your outfits creative and not just normal wear, or you may accidentally bring a “normy” in your sophisticated gathering.

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Actual picture of Normies crashing a cult gathering, which explains the low quality. Source: Wikipedia

Step 4: Have an arranged date and place to meet up.

Probably the most important rule of having a cult, arrange a place and date when to meet with your cult. How are you supposed to discuss the good word of the thing you are worshiping without meeting up with your group? I suggest somewhere that shows that it’s a cult meet-up. I mean why meet-up if no one knows that it’s a place of worship. I also suggest having a good time, something like twice a week once on Sunday morning and another time on Wednesday night, all good cults take place on those days.

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Seriously, SpongeBob is just nailing the correct ways to be part of a cult! Source: Freemasonry

Step 5: Enjoy your successful cult and only allow a select few people to join in the future.

And lastly, keep your cult pure and only allow the most dedicated people and family members of people in your cult to join in the future and sit back and watch your cult flourish.

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Source: Wikipedia

 

 

Puns For The Day

By Kayla Mustain

Math

  • Too much ∏ gives you a large circumference.
  • Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they will never meet!
  • Your PLAN has been foiled

             (P+L) (A+N)

             PA+PN+LA+LN

  • √-1    2^3   ∑    ∏   …and it was delicious

English

  • I before E… except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor.
  • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
  • My English teacher held a pun contest. I submitted ten puns to win, but no pun in ten did.
  • You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran because it’s past tents.
  • 8 vowels, 11 consonants, an exclamation mark and a comma appeared in court today. They are due to be sentenced next week.

Science

  • I tried to grab fog, but I mist.
  • I lost an electron! Are you positive?
  • When chemists die, they barium.
  • Energizer bunny arrested. It was charged with battery.

History

  • Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? There were too many knights.
  • Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft.
  • How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a couple of Caesars.
  • Which American President was least guilty? Lincoln because he was in a cent.
  • Never take a victory for Grant-ed.
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